Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Some things do not change


I know. It is late. It's 2.30 am in the morning and I'm still wide awake. I hardly get a sleep for the past a week.
Yeap..wondering too why does it happen.
But, hey..i try to sleep. like just now.
I closed my eyes. in my duvet but my body seems to ignore this..

Then suddenly i remember about my childhood memory. How innocent i was back then.
My world is only about my family, main pondok pondok, pejabat pejabat and friends.

I still remember in
In 1996, there was once, my house had a black out. My dad went to pasar malam. The others were bored. the TV was off. The radio..pufft..do we have one back then? haha..i dunt  think so.
Then, there was this blackboard where my parents bought it for us, their children, to scribble and use it academically. I stood in front of the blackboard and acted like a host. and i read a news written on my brother's textbook. Walah!! We enjoyed our tv and news time.
When my dad came home, we enjoyed the dish he bought from the night market. ahhh..heaven.:)

I also remember between that year (1996) until 2000, I learned what hardship was like. I had the experience where not all children have it. Collecting the tobacco's leaves under the hot scorching sun, running from home to field while catching my parents, who's on the motorcycle. Carrying the tobacco's leaves on my shoulder. Sleeping at the wakaf with oil lamp. Those were priceless.

I've touched it, plucked it, carried it.
it was amazing. epic life.
*courtesy of google

oh, I slept between the rows. The smell of the earth actually felt better than the comfy bed
(that's not me. I was much cuter:P) *courtesy of google*

In 2003, I was admitted to high school. Wow..new world.huhu..New friends. i thought everyone was as kampung as me.:P
I was erm...quite wrong. Everyone had their handphone, MP3, MP4 and what that small radio called...urrmm.....gosh..cant remember it.ah! WALKMAN.hehe..
and there was one time, my friends (not in my gang, we used to have a gang u know..and people said, i'm in the nerd gang..actually..not true..i am bubbly, ok), they were talking about the hit songs in the radio ranking.
They mentioned Era. I was like "huh?? Sjak bila Era Fazira cipta lagu??"
hahhaha..blur me..:P
but, believe me..I only knew what Radio Era is when I was in Form 2...kakakkaka..funny me.

In 2006, It was Ramadhan. I cooked for my family. I dont really remember what actually happened. I think it was something about my mom marah and back up my brother. and saya terasa..ye tuan puan.saya terasa coz sy mmg fikir sy xde wat slh pape. So, my face was gloomy. Saya x berbuka dgn my family. I took a laimun or limau in malay and I hid near a bush and ate that limau dengan tears rolling before went straight to the mosque...haha..merajuk..
Balik tu, my younger sis crita y my mom suruh dia cari saya. I was touched.:p

in 2007, I created a group. "Persatuan Anti-Couple".ok..I hope this is not a secret group. Coz, if it is..means I'm spilling a secret information. forgive me.:P
So, I had this vow..not a vow..but a principle. I said:
"i will never ever fall in love. I'm not gonna let my heart say 'gosh, i like him'.It will only happen when I'm married. " But, u know what, some people said, the thing that we said we wont do it is the thing we gonna do it. humm.perhaps it is true..In my case, at least. naive me.

Humm...bila sy teringat balik semua kisah kisah ni. Terasa diri sangat suci dan innocent. I've changed a lot. A whole lot. But, some things do not change such as, I still cry when people raise voice at me, I still cry if it is related to my family or friends. haha..But one thing for sure...i will try my best not to let people see me crying.haha...I will never ever...I will try to hold it and let it burst where no one will caught me in that situation..

I wish I am as innocent as I was.
*Courtesy of google*'
some things just cant be bought and do not change.

p/s: it is just a leisure entry about me missing the old me. sorry for the wordy entry. emo me:P


  1. itulah nama dia fitrah..manusia selalu mengharapkan dapat kembali ke tempat asalnya namun cara dan gaya yang membezakan mereka..

  2. humm..mungkin:)
    thanks for the comment anon:)